Photo credit:  Pixabay

I have been presenting a few self-care workshops in the past several months, and at one of them, someone pointed out how hard it can be to find someone to truly listen to you when you need to talk/reflect/process something challenging in your life.  She was responding to a quote from Brene  Brown, suggesting that we let go of exhaustion as a status symbol, and saying that often when people talk about the challenges they are facing, it becomes a game of one-upping.  Example: 

“How are you?”

“Oh,  I’m tired because I’ve been pretty stressed at work and the baby is teething.”

“Oh, you think you’re tired?  I’m so tired!  I’ve been working 65 hour weeks to get a project done, and the kids are running me ragged with all their activities.  I don’t know when I last had a quiet evening at home.  I bet you get a lot of those with the baby.”

Like that. 

Turns out, it isn’t that helpful to enter into a contest about who has the most stress or difficulty in their life.  Sometimes others just need us to listen compassionately, not try to solve their problem, and not let them know that we have it even worse.  I’ve been thinking about how we can create that kind of culture for each other as colleagues.  I see and hear all sorts of lovely things happening between librarians, and observe people developing supportive networks and friendships.  If there’s anything I can do to help facilitate this, please let me know!